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INFOMATION
thy blog owner.
QUEENIE YEO
21 JULY1993
CHIJ KELLOCK
CRESCENT GIRLS' SCHOOL
4C3 09
queenie_yeo@hotmail.com(:
Soaring through, through the night.
Skyway Avenue - We The Kings
TAGBOARD
hear your voice baby.
A tag would be nice. :D
Width <150. Thank you.
AFFILIATES
its a big big world.
REMINISCENES
my faded memories.
CREDITS
spontaneous applauds
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Date / Time : Wednesday, November 11, 2009 / 5:06 PM
1 more paper left!
2 more days to liberation!AHH. i can't wait(:i can't wait to dump all my books + prelim booklets + textbooks to my cousin(: i can't wait to go Europe and Macau and Hong Kong!(: i can't wait to learn korean with letty! i can't wait to learn ice skating! and go ice skating with huichee! i can't wait to watch ANTM cycle 12 and 13 (i know i'm super slow, blame that exam!) i can't wait to catch on my dramas and movies! i can't wait to do a milliontrillionzillion things that i've sacrificed for the past 9 to 10 months. in any case, please, please give me the strength to let everything go, and the inner belief to know that: as long as i've tried my best, i'll have no regrets. it's not life if there aren't any regrets. but i have to face it, and i have to realize that it's not the 8 A1s that i yearn for in life. There's so much to life than the O'levels!(:
Date / Time : Saturday, September 19, 2009 / 9:25 PM
i had dinner with Erika(:
so after physics and chem tuition, i went shopping with my mum! and then, i made my way to United Square. Hadnt been there for the past few weeks/months, and some things have changed. so i waited for half an hour before erika made her way out. and she said that mr cheng had to talk to huizhen, so i went into the class and said hi to mr cheng. hahah, that was so.. weird?
so erika and i had dinner at Swensens! huizhen joined us for the first 15 minutes or so, and she left. so erika and i stayed at swensens and ate like a pig. 2 main course + 2 ice cream = $49.90, and we didnt order the wings! AHH. but we were super full. and we talked about alot of things that made me motivated and confident of O'levels.
and i cant believe i almost finished the whole series of Fated To Love You(: almost. almost. i just didnt have the heart to watch the first few episodes! i dont want to see how bad Cunxi treats XinYi, it's horrible.
okay, i shall download TapTap now. Played with Miaowen's Iphone during that half hour break after Physics and before Chem and it was nice! Audrey didnt allow me to play with her phoneee:/
Date / Time : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 / 10:57 PM
got back Chinese O's results, and it was quite disappointing, not because i didnt get an A1, but because i studied so hard, yet what i get is this kind of results. i cried, so what? if tears could turn back time, world war 2 wouldnt have happened. if there was a cure for regret, then there's nothing medicine cannot cure. but apparently, this is not the case. so i guess there's no point crying over spilt milk. but i'm feeling so depressed. talked to erika just now, and all of a sudden, i feel that everything will be okay. we cannot change things we cant control, but we can control our attitude towards it- i'll also remember that. obviously, i went back to class with unshed tears glistening in my eyes, and i was sobbing quietly. but mr tan sort of noticed it and asked if i was alright. and i couldnt pay attention during the whole english lesson, and when he called me to answer the question for picture discussion, i was taken aback. it didnt help that i had my english oral today. i was quite affected by it at first, but after that, i told myself that everything is over, and i cannot change anything. and this is fate, so accept it. ms jeya came to give us encouragement and mr tan rushed to the hall after his e-lesson to give us moral support(: felt so touched by what they had done all of a sudden:DD and when mr tan said, "smile. dont be so worried and nervous. chill", i actually had the courage to say "yes, i can do it!" and i guess he was quite shocked by what i said, and he eventually replied, "yes, you can do it!". regina, mr tan and i started laughing. and the examiners were looking elsewhere when i spoke, and one even doze off several times. and it happened to regina too. i think they should sleep more so that they could show more respect to us. by dozing off, it really makes us very scared okay! and this morning, mrs yip came to my class and guess what she said? "Queenie! you dropped bio?""ehm, yes..." "what's your Ic number?"-writes for her on the piece of paper- "why did you drop bio? your bio quite good what""i cant cope with 9 subjects. that's why.." "oh, okay.."i felt so guilty after that. i think that mrs yip is a very nice teacher, and i didnt mean to break her heart like this, but it's really stressful to handle all 9 subjects and makes sure that we can get as many As as possible. in any case, what's done is done. but i'm happy that she said that my bio is good, my hardwork paid off! from an A1 in S2 (for the bio/chem part), to D7 during S3 MYE to a B3 during S3 FYE. heh, i made significant improvements right! and i actually told myself that if i scored B and above for the bio mock exam, i would not drop bio. but i actually dropped it before i got my paper back, and guess what? i got an A for that paper. hahah. but it's fate. it's fate.
Date / Time : Sunday, August 16, 2009 / 8:28 PM
10 weeks later, i'll be in the hall, scribbling away. 13 weeks later, it'll be grad nite. 14 weeks later, i'll be free from commitments and studying, and i'll travel! I've so many to do after O's. but that's only, when O's over. sometimes, i try hard to convince myself that O levels is not everything. Yes, VJ, NJ and AC, i'll remember that. but there is Business Studies that i can pursue in Ngee Ann Poly. I shouldnt make myself feel so stressed up (Yvelyn found a strand of white hair when she was staring at my braids a few days ago) and as i've mentioned, i really hope that i could see O'levels as something that every Singaporean have to go through. but i know i cant, and i'm expected to do well. So, i have to do well and i must. I cant let anyone down! (the image of Ms Loo saying that she wants to see me on stage during Speech Day next year kept flashing in my mind. It gives me pressure, but frankly, i want to be there too!) Of course, i've been brainwashed by people around me. "Do you know O'levels is a very important thing?!" Of course i do, i know its importance. But some things are really not within our control. Just like love, we lead the choice we choose. We cant force something upon ourselves when we choose to object and reject it. In any case, I Must Conquer It All. i just completed my argumentative essay and i thought it was a particularly interesting topic, and i wrote examples that i've read, and i thought that that itself was already an accomplishment. i havent been to Learning Lab for the last month, and they kept sending the homework over to me. EHM, but i did try some of them okay! i'm a nice person. and i kinda miss the lessons. and i know huizhen's gonna add someone else. I'm not going to argue with her over this because everything that she says is about him, including the note that she gave me a few weeks back. crazy woman on the loose. okay, i shall continue to study physics!(:
Date / Time : Sunday, July 5, 2009 / 9:56 PM
MRI scan on friday. it wasnt as bad as i expected. the 3 nurses kept me laughing, even during the injection which it didnt hurt at all! but it was noisy, as usual, i think it's because of the magnetic field and everything. and the earplugs just refused to fit into my ears again! so i had to bear with the not-so-pleasant noise. ahh, i did it after all. so after i came out of the MRI room, i walked back to the waiting area where my parents and my brother were waiting. so i changed back, and re-tied my braids and off we go to Swensens! because the MRI scan was delayed by an hour so we missed the dinner @ Furama. Bad experience at Swensens again!
Doctor's appointment tomorrow! okay, i'm really really very scared. what if he said that the cell is back? what if he said that the operation cannot delay? i'm so scared. i hope everything will be fine. there's no one that i really can confide in, except for YenLer, but sometimes, i dont know how to put it into words. Maybe it's because we're now in different classes, and we no longer talk that often. i'm so scared. i try to think of the future, and how bright it would be. but i'm somehow pulled back into reality.
ever since the MYEs, i feel so exhausted and drained. i couldnt even focus during TLL on saturday because physics and chem tuition in the morning was tiring. but it's okay, no more TLL after 25 aug because i've submitted the withdrawal form. persevere, 8 more weeks to go.
Date / Time : Thursday, July 2, 2009 / 10:47 PM
i found something better than polaroid camera!!! ahh. though i've been eyeing the instax 25 camera since i-dont-know-when, i've found this polaroid printer that is much much better because you dont have to pay for $15 for 10 polaroids. but it's twice as expensive as a polaroid camera.
ahhh.
i feel like as though the world has just regained its normal mode after exams are over. i feel so... relaxed! for once, in the past 4 weeks which is filled with much agony and much procrastination. though i'm not very confident of what i've said during MTL Olevels oral this afternoon, but i'm very happy that everything's over. i dont have to worry about it anymore. yes, of course, i do think i talk crap during the whole conversation, but what matters most is that i stayed calm throughout the whole oral, and i survived through it. i think that is something worth cheering. definitely! especially when i was only told of the oral 2 to 3 days before it. i cant change what marks the teachers gave me, but i definitely can change the way i look at it. i shouldnt think so much about me having screwed up the oral, i should think like my mum: Olevels is nothing, it's just a test to see how much you've learnt these 4 years.
ahh, i should stop thinking about my oral(:
and i should start partying this weekend. oh manns, MRI scan tomorrow. damn scared. i want no injection. but dad promised to bring us out for dinner after that~ ahhhaaha.
Date / Time : Tuesday, June 30, 2009 / 10:20 PM
2 more days to end of MYEs. and O'level MTL oral is this coming thursday!
Ahh.
as i was about to switch off my phone, i realised that there were 7 missed calls, and it was from, chua hui chee! hahha, and she left me a message: "call me when you see this message okay!". ahhha.
i cant wait for thursday to end, because that means that all the agony has ended. but MRI scan is on friday. should i say i'm scared, or sick of it?
i'm sick of getting nervous when i see the needle. i'm sick of holding back my tears when it hurts. i'm sick of hearing the doctors say about unnecessary stuffs that they thought would distract my attention. i'm sick of everything.
sometimes, i look at the night sky, and i thought, "AHH, Life's like that, whether you like it or not". But even if Kahu could make Koro Apirana accept her, why cant i accept who i am? why cant i accept my scar? why cant i open my arms and accept changes? changes that would have made me stronger and ehm, more pain-resistant (HAHAH, okay, geog stuffs are stuck to my head)
i cant wait till O'levels are over. For once, i want it to be over. Then, off i go to europe/america! But then, i'll have to decide again: S'pore, Uk or Aust. ahhh.
Life's full of choices. it's just what you choose that makes you who you are.
Ahh. Persevere! That's the right way to go.
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